Ramblings-n-Writings

Archive for the ‘Musings’ Category

About 2 weeks ago, I wrote about the things I’ve learned during our twin pregnancy. One of the things I mentioned is that milk does wonders for heartburn. Well, I need to revise that statement …

Whole milk does wonders for heartburn. 2% milk doesn’t do a thing.

I really wasn’t a milk drinker for years and years unless it was raw milk straight from the cow. (For those who are new here, I used to live on a farm.) My DH is a milk drinker but only whole milk.

So, after being afflicted with pregnancy heartburn and knowing that our little ones needed calcium, I started drinking regular store-bought whole milk. Raw cow’s milk during pregnancy is considered a no-no, by the way.

Well, earlier this week, our jug of milk was getting low and we had the threat of bad weather, so DH stopped to get a gallon. Unfortunately, so did the rest of the county, and he came home with a jug of 2% milk. Not a problem, because milk is milk, right?

Apparently, not really.

Last night, I had a horrid time with heartburn (blame it on the pizza I ate!). Over the course of a couple of hours, I drank multiple glasses of milk and still had heartburn. Normally, with whole milk, two or three mouthfuls did the trick. With 2% I could’ve drank the whole gallon and still not had any relief.

I imagine, and this is not scientific at all and is purely a guess, that the fat content in whole milk is what coats the throat and helps neutralize the stomach acid. Since 2% is an extremely watered-down version of whole milk, the fat content is gone and so is the heartburn relief.

Moral of the story: stick with whole milk if you want relief and sleep!

As I’m sitting here at 34 weeks with a very large belly, I thought I’d share some of the things I’ve learned while doing double duty and carrying twins …

Heartburn … Ah, my favorite friend. It really doesn’t matter what goes in – spicy or bland – heartburn will come and go. So I eat what I want. The advice to avoid spicy foods and carbonated beverages may be helpful in singleton pregnancies, but honestly, with twins your stomach is practically shoved out your mouth anyway so the acid is inevitable. Instead of suffering with a diet of bread and water, I learned to control my heartburn. A glass of milk before bed neutralizes the acid and works as the best preventative for me. Yogurt, ice cream, and cheese also help (yes, ice cream was recommended by my doctor.) I also use two or three pillows at night to prop up my head and upper chest – harder for stomach acid to travel up than straight. A little bit of fresh lemon added to water is another preventative.

Eating … I consume tons of food. Like constantly. For the first two months or so, I had a lot of nausea (never did get morning sickness or vomiting), but I eventually figured out that the nausea was because I was hungry. Within a matter of a day or two all of the nausea went away when I increased my food intake. Eating snacks (fruit, cheese, peanut butter, granola, veggies or anything that is considered food when you are desperate) between meals helps tremendously. Weight gain – don’t be concerned. Feed your little ones. I’ve gained 40 lbs. so far and our girls consistently measure well above the 50th percentile for their gestational age and weight.

Water … Drink a lot – more than the recommended 6-8 glasses. I started drinking about 100 oz. of water a day around 12 weeks. I do not have dry skin, stretch marks, or swelling, and my girls have excellent levels of amniotic fluid. One word of caution – don’t drink a full glass of water within 20 minutes of eating a meal (either before or after) unless you want heartburn. Once I adjusted when I drank my water, I noticed a significant decrease in the amount of heartburn.

Maneuverability … Yeah, forget about being flexible, getting up off the couch gracefully, shaving your legs, or climbing out of bed without feeling like you just ran a marathon. This will strike near the end of the 2nd trimester. If you drop something on the floor, leave it there – someone else will eventually pick it up.

Breathing … Starting around 20 weeks or so, I noticed increased difficulty in breathing at times, which is apparently normal. This might sound strange, but the worst was when I would lay down at night or roll over. I think it has to do with the shifting of the uterus and its occupants, not to mention the occasional limb that got stuck where it didn’t belong. Nothing much can prevent this other than breathing as deep as possible until everyone gets settled and then resuming normal breathing. I know my girls started dropping around 32 weeks because I don’t feel as starved for oxygen now.

Sitting … Sitting on hard surfaces like a dining room chair also becomes more difficult with each passing week unless you want to sit with your legs sticking out to the sides. My girls hate when my belly rests on my lap and they give me all sorts of little punches to remind me to move. Cushioned chairs and recliners are wonderful inventions! Reclining keeps the pressure off of the pelvic area, however reclining does put pressure on the back and veins so sit with weight shifted slightly to a side. Using a pillow to prop up the ever-growing belly helps add support.

Sleeping … Enjoy sleeping comfortably early on. In my case, I wasn’t able to lay on my back from about 18 weeks and on for any longer than about 5 minutes without getting an extremely ill feeling. When you have only two choices – left or right side – you find yourself waking up to turn over quite a bit as the little ones squish this nerve or that bodily organ. And, about midway through the 2nd trimester it becomes physically impossible to roll over without waking up. Sometimes I feel like I deserve a gold medal for reaching the other side!

And, finally, Advice … People love to offer advice about pregnancy (you know, so-and-so heard from her fifth cousin’s neighbor who had twins …). Take it all with a grain of salt unless they are twin moms or a medical professional. Every pregnancy is different. Do a lot of research online to learn what to expect during pregnancy and read about twins, twin products, twin necessities, and anything else twin related. Everything I’ve written here is based on my personal experience, not scientific or medical research, so proceed with caution.

What have you experienced during your twin pregnancy that other moms would love to know?

I will praise you; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are your works; and that my soul knows right well. ~Psalm 139:14

Isn’t it amazing how each of us is a unique individual? No two people are exactly alike. Some may look identical (maybe the two little girls growing inside their momma right now?!) or have a similar personality, but each person is still unique. As a result of being unique individuals, we respond to similar situations differently.

One of the biggest areas in my life that I noticed this was divorce and moving on. Every person who walks the road of infidelity and divorce is a unique individual. Each person’s circumstances are different. The stories might sound similar – he had a mistress and left his wife for her – but the individuals involved are unique.

To me, one of the hardest things to deal with wasn’t necessarily the divorce, but the assumption that I was the same as everyone else’s acquaintances and should manage my divorce and healing how those people managed theirs.

We’ve probably all heard the “warning” about not telling a widow or someone else in mourning “I know how you feel” unless we have actually walked in the same shoes and lost a spouse / child / parent. From my perspective, the same is true of divorce and moving on. Here’s some of the phrases I heard from various individuals and what I really wished I could say in response.

• Well, when my sister’s husband left her, she did /didn’t … Guess what? I’m not your sister! I’m me!
• How can you be so sure that your marriage is over? … Well, let’s see … The husband walked out, moved to another state with another woman, and proceeded to tell me a bunch of lies since leaving. Yeah, sounds like it’s over to me.
• How can you even think about dating / remarrying so soon? So-and-so needed a lot of counseling and is just now getting her life back together 2 years later … Sorry, but I’m not waiting just because the “proper” amount of time in your eyes hasn’t passed.
• Are you sure he isn’t a cheater too? (speaking of the guy I was dating) … Um, no one can know for sure and if you think you can, you’re only fooling yourself.
• Why get a divorce? Don’t you have faith that God will restore your marriage? … Absolutely! But it takes two to make it work, and the evidence isn’t there that the other half is willing to make it work. Plus I have complete, undeniable peace from God that this is the step I’m supposed to take.

I’ll admit my responses are somewhat sarcastic. But, honestly, every person is unique. We all handle situations differently. Think about how two people would respond to watching a boating accident happen. One person jumps in the water to rescue whomever he can. The other stands on shore and calls 911. Do we fault either one for how they responded? Likely not.

There’s a new television show (at least I think it’s new) this season. I don’t know the name of the show, but actors / actresses go to public places and “test” people to gauge their responses on serious issues. For example, one episode took place in a restaurant. A young teenage girl was obviously being held against her will by people who weren’t her family members. The TV cameras recorded how the diners reacted as voices were raised, etc. Some did nothing but talk amongst themselves while others took action and tried to remove the girl from the situation. Another episode had a segment of a teenage boy getting beat up for being gay. Most people ignored the fight, but some intervened and rescued him from the bullies. Every person reacts differently to the same situations.

So even if my situation was identical to Suzy Q’s situation, my reaction will be different than hers because I am a unique individual. God made me the way I am. I deal with tragedy and hard times differently than Suzy Q. How is that possible?

Simply, I was reared differently. I was taught differently. I am a unique individual, fearfully and wonderfully in God’s eyes, who followed a unique, God-given path to the point I am at.

God prepared me long before I knew it with how to handle and manage the trials that came my way. Little lessons of heart break along life’s path taught me how to handle the big test of a broken heart. I’m not saying I handled it perfectly because I had learned everything beforehand. Hardly! I had my days of walking on eggshells, becoming a basket case, going through boxes of tissues, and downright anger. But, I knew that in order for life to continue, I had to grieve, allow the grief to heal my heart, and take the first tentative steps forward. One step … having faith … led to another … trusting. Each within God’s perfect timing. I have no doubt.

A couple of days ago, while searching for a recipe, I came across the following handwritten in one of my notebooks. I realized I had never posted it for you to read. Today is an anniversary date for me of a personal tragedy and I chose today to post about having hope because I realize the miracles God chose to bless me with.

When you are in your darkest days, it is hard to have hope.

We tend to ask ourselves questions like … Will things really get better? Will I continue to fail at ___? When will change come? Is there really hope that I can move on?

Webster tells us that hope is “what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best; to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence; to feel that something desired may happen; to continue to hope although the outlook does not warrant it.”

In my mind, hope walks hand-in-hand with faith. We can have hope that things will change in the future, and we need faith to keep that hope alive. Let’s dissect what hope is…

What is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best - Hope is believing. When my ex-husband walked out, it was soooo hard to believe things would get better. I could only see the darkness and what I had lost. I feared losing my home, the possibility of becoming a mom disappeared, and I thought I had to change job professions to survive. I didn’t have this kind of hope because I couldn’t see how my husband leaving could turn out for the best.

To look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence – The part of hope that rang true to me was looking forward to how things could work out. I wanted to see how God would mold me. How would the trying of my faith work out patience? Through the tears, heartache, and refiner’s fire, I knew in the end something good would be created – either the restoration of my marriage or the healing of my heart.

To feel that something desired may happen – Those first days were dark. Admitting to friends that my marriage might be over was humbling. One evening on Facebook, I started chatting with a friend in Colorado. We chatted about life’s events, and I honestly don’t remember much that was said except for one line that she shared. She said, “It may not seem like it now but this could be the catalyst for something more extraordinary than you can even imagine.” Wow! Her statement gave me hope!

To continue to hope although the outlook does not warrant it – Who doesn’t want to believe that things will get better? My friend’s statement made me start looking for the extraordinary. Deep inside I began hoping for something extraordinary. Some very tiny, seemingly insignificant events started occurring. The outlook for my life in general was still bleak. I had faith that God would bring me through the trial because that’s what He promised, but my outlook wasn’t the greatest. I started each day hoping it would be better than the one before. Slowly my heart was healed and today I am living what is even more extraordinary than I could imagine.

What is my extraordinary? Today, I am very happily remarried to the most amazing, loving man who is everything I dreamed of. My work is what I choose it to be – no 9 to 5 job. And the most special blessing of all … against some very strong odds, and only through God’s amazing grace, we are expecting two little bundles of baby joy in early 2011. Praise the God of miracles who gives hope in life’s darkest hours!

Since I have finally resettled into a daily routine, last week I decided to re-add Twitter as one of my daily habits. The last time I tweeted was about 4 months ago, and since then I noticed a definite correlation between my time on Twitter and the traffic on my websites. I recognize the value in Twitter and decided it was time to get back into tweeting.

I sat down last Thursday, and before typing my first tweet, decided to catch up with those that I follow. After scrolling through countless updates and wasting more time than I care to confess, I realized I needed a plan of attack. I had to decide what I was going to use Twitter for.

• Was it to follow as many people as possible?
• Was it to gain knowledge / ideas / links?
• Was it to generate relationships?

Everyone looks at Twitter differently. To me, I want to use it to build relationships and to learn.

In order to accomplish my purpose, I needed to purge the list of those that I was following. So, for about 2 hours, I sat engrossed in the my “following” list. What criteria did I use to decide if someone stayed or went?

• What was the date of the last tweet? Seriously, anyone who hasn’t tweeted since 2009 probably wasn’t going to tweet again anytime soon. I realize some people, like myself, have life circumstances that interfere and tweeting just isn’t feasible anymore. But more than a year makes me think they probably won’t be back.
• Did I remember the person from back when I tweeted regularly? I figured if I remembered them, I must have had some kind of interaction with them or they shared meaningful tweets. At some point, they had made an impression, and I liked that.
• Did I know them in real life?
• Did the person seem to be about self-promotion? If, out of the last 10 or so tweets, a large majority of the tweets were links to their personal site and the site content wasn’t something I felt would be of value to me, I purged.
• Would the person be a better match for @SkalaCreative, my business twitter? I also looked for those that I followed with both accounts.

So, did spending about 2 hours going through the 675+ on my “following” list help? After just a couple of days, I can honestly say that it did.

I paired my list down to about 170 followings, and it is very easy to spend 5 minutes scrolling through the morning tweets, replying/retweeting, and clicking on links of interest. Then I repeat the process at some point in the afternoon.

I no longer feel like I might miss something important. I can easily manage what’s there.

By the way, I also purged the list of blogs I follow in my Google Reader. Instead of over 100 blogs, I now follow have 27.

It’s all about simplicity and stewardship of time.